Let me tell you that I love you and I think about you all the time.

I think that sometimes instead of blood flowing through my veins, it's melodies and lyrics. Music is such a controlling factor of my mood. The music I listen to usually makes me happy. I'd say it could be compared to the feeling you get when you wake up and realize that you can still sleep for another 3 or so hours. Oh--what about this situation. Have you ever been in a steamin' hot car and roll the windows down to cool off, when you realize that your hair is a wind-blown disaster? I find myself in that situation quite often actually. My new favorite thing is to not care at all and sing at the top of my lungs. No matter where I am, or what I have to look like when I get to wherever I'm going, the liberating feeling to feel my hair bush/whip across my face is totally worth it. Sometimes it's a little annoying when I have just put on chapstick and then my hair gets stuck on my lips, but usually the annoyance gets blown out my rolled down window fairly quickly and the taste of my hair becomes part of the adventure. Good thing I have clean hair right? Even if I don't know all the words to the song that is blaring over my speakers I make it up. For example, there is a country song that really say something about running away to Vegas, well I never knew that's what it said. I understood the rest of the song but at that particular part I'd always belt out, "GO AWAY, AND FLOAT A RIVER!' Ya, nothing to do with Vegas, but that's how the lyrics went in my head. Anyway, I challenge you to at least try it once. I promise, you won't be able to contain the endorphins that will be going crazy in your body. Oh, don't forget to pay attention to driving most importantly, but check out the other driver's reactions. Priceless!

Little black book.

So, anyone that knows me knows that I'm ALWAYS full of boy drama. Honestly some days I really enjoy the drama because it spices up the day just a little bit. However, there are days that I just wish I could be married and be done with the drama. Not that I think marriage solves all drama, but at least it will only be with one boy instead of the bunch I've got right now. Here is the situation. We all remember Trevor right? The one I met in the temple at Matt and Lacey's wedding? Well he's still in the picture a year and a half later. Ya know, I don't even want to go into all those details from that past year or so. Yuck. It was a long and hard road. A road full of a lot of laughter, deep conversations, tears, silly stories, anger, sadness, and sacred experiences. I've never had to cut off all ties from a close friend before, but that's what needs to happen in this case. I know that no one really understands this and honestly my family is quite pleased that I'm ending things with Trevor, but this is a really big struggle for me. I heard a quote once that says, “Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets.” I'm at peace with knowing that Trevor was placed in my life to help me grow. I feel that I had a lot to learn from him and he likewise had a lot to learn from me. I love him for the person he has helped shape me to become, but deep down I've always known that I didn't want to be eternally bound to him. So, here is my ode to Trevor. In a weird way, this song is basically what I'm feeling towards him right now. It may be a little harsh, but this is my theme song for Trevor.
I won't let this burden bring me down

So here we are again
Staring at the end of what we made and who we are
Never knowing when
One of us will break apart and walk the other way

Love, I don't know what to say
Love, I don't know how to stay
When you won't let me be the person that I am

The writing's on the wall, there's nothing to say anymore
So I'll leave before I fall apart right back into your arms
The writing's on the wall, you gave nothing and I gave it all
But I want something better and I won't let this burden bring me down

What are we to do?
What are we to say to one another now we're through?
Thanks for being you
Thanks for being all the things I had to say goodbye to

I'm over being lied to
I'm over being pushed into the
Person that you want me to become

The writing's on the wall, there's nothing to say anymore
So I'll leave before I fall apart right back into your arms
The writing's on the wall, you gave nothing and I gave it all
But I want something better and I won't let this burden bring me down

Where did we go wrong?
We let it be so long
But now there's no point turning back, let's face the facts

The writing's on the wall, there's nothing to say anymore
So I'll leave before I fall apart right back into your arms
The writing's on the wall, you gave nothing and I gave it all
But I want something better and I won't let this burden bring me down
I won't let this burden bring me, I won't let this burden bring me down


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcYdBfH5ZcM