Little black book.

So, anyone that knows me knows that I'm ALWAYS full of boy drama. Honestly some days I really enjoy the drama because it spices up the day just a little bit. However, there are days that I just wish I could be married and be done with the drama. Not that I think marriage solves all drama, but at least it will only be with one boy instead of the bunch I've got right now. Here is the situation. We all remember Trevor right? The one I met in the temple at Matt and Lacey's wedding? Well he's still in the picture a year and a half later. Ya know, I don't even want to go into all those details from that past year or so. Yuck. It was a long and hard road. A road full of a lot of laughter, deep conversations, tears, silly stories, anger, sadness, and sacred experiences. I've never had to cut off all ties from a close friend before, but that's what needs to happen in this case. I know that no one really understands this and honestly my family is quite pleased that I'm ending things with Trevor, but this is a really big struggle for me. I heard a quote once that says, “Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets.” I'm at peace with knowing that Trevor was placed in my life to help me grow. I feel that I had a lot to learn from him and he likewise had a lot to learn from me. I love him for the person he has helped shape me to become, but deep down I've always known that I didn't want to be eternally bound to him. So, here is my ode to Trevor. In a weird way, this song is basically what I'm feeling towards him right now. It may be a little harsh, but this is my theme song for Trevor.
I won't let this burden bring me down

So here we are again
Staring at the end of what we made and who we are
Never knowing when
One of us will break apart and walk the other way

Love, I don't know what to say
Love, I don't know how to stay
When you won't let me be the person that I am

The writing's on the wall, there's nothing to say anymore
So I'll leave before I fall apart right back into your arms
The writing's on the wall, you gave nothing and I gave it all
But I want something better and I won't let this burden bring me down

What are we to do?
What are we to say to one another now we're through?
Thanks for being you
Thanks for being all the things I had to say goodbye to

I'm over being lied to
I'm over being pushed into the
Person that you want me to become

The writing's on the wall, there's nothing to say anymore
So I'll leave before I fall apart right back into your arms
The writing's on the wall, you gave nothing and I gave it all
But I want something better and I won't let this burden bring me down

Where did we go wrong?
We let it be so long
But now there's no point turning back, let's face the facts

The writing's on the wall, there's nothing to say anymore
So I'll leave before I fall apart right back into your arms
The writing's on the wall, you gave nothing and I gave it all
But I want something better and I won't let this burden bring me down
I won't let this burden bring me, I won't let this burden bring me down


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcYdBfH5ZcM